I am not an exceptionally perceptive or intuitive person, but I take note of little coincidences/ironies, or cosmic/karmic events that happen to me occasionally--some of them serendipitous and some of them oddly negative--which seem to reflect something that is built into the way things are in the universe--or at least in my little corner of it. Whether these occurrences are of God, or the devil, or just the way a moral ordering of the world works itself out in the small things of life, I don't know. I suppose they could mean nothing at all!
Now, I know people who claim that God is directing their lives in very particular ways, leading them to meet just the right person here or to be in just the right place there. God gives them the right words to speak here or the direction to spend their money there. That is not what I mean. I have sensed that sort of direction in my life, but do not experience dramatic intervention very often--at least not that I am aware of. In last year's blog I talked about a Vermont maple syrup thing that happened to me as a child. Usually I don't experience answers that directly. I have heard voices (I was not on any drugs!) a few times, but they were not directives, and not very helpful. I have never found a check in my mailbox from a stranger when I was in need.
Additionally, I was associated with some particular women in a previous community with exceptional clairvoyance (or whatever). I would just think that it would have been nice to have a little ice cream on my birthday, and it would appear--delivered right to my door. It was uncanny. I would just think about how nice it would be to go to the mall this afternoon and I would get a phone call--do you want to go to the mall? I broke a window in the house trying to get back in to check on a sleeping baby after locking myself out. With a cell phone in my pocket I would have saved the expense of the broken window. The husband was not happy. But back inside, through the broken window, I immediately got a phone call from the all-knowing girlfriend, asking me what was wrong. I was beside myself one Sunday morning, with a brand new baby spitting up all over and an old dryer that had failed. Like "magic" someone appeared after church to help me.
Sometimes I hardly dared to even think things!
Apparently I am not as needy anymore, because these things don't happen to me any more!
Now, my friends and I need multiple emails and texts to figure out what we're doing and no one ever appears spontaneously at my door to help.
What I am addressing in this post, however, is something a little different. I am referencing something negative, a psychic capriciousness or, if you will, bad karma--which just might be a consequence of things I have previously verbalized.
My family and friends don't share with me the crazy little things happen to them--so I am left to think that it is just me! Maybe no one else admits to it. Or they are even less self-aware than I am.
I believe in God and am not willing to attribute any weirdly negative things to Him. I also have no idea what role the devil and his helpers play in the everyday things of life. Good and bad things happen to good and bad people. We may never understand why.
So anyway, just last month, for instance, my posts at the end of February included themes that have come back to haunt me. First, I was a little too happy with myself for avoiding the new body scanning equipment at the airport. I was bragging a bit about having avoided unnecessarily exposing myself to more radiation, even though the claim is that it is minimal. I even indicated that I would like to think my little act of protest helped to change the rules--the removal of all the body scanning machines from the airports in the near future. That does have a a bit of hubris and ridiculousness about it!
Well, guess what. A few days after publishing that post, I was subjected to a CT Scan of my head, (as well as an ultrasound, MRI and EEG) that probably delivered way more radiation than I would ever receive in going though the body scanning machines for years to come! This is what I am talking about.
(If I had not gone to the hospital I would have recovered just as quickly and I would have remembered that my Mom had the same thing. I would have saved thousands of dollars worth of test that proved nothing. I would not have experienced the extra radiation. I could have just seen a neurologist and he would have told me I probably had TGA (transient global amnesia)).
But then, I had lost my mind. I don't remember agreeing to go to the hospital. If I had remembered my mother's incident, I might have waited it out for a few hours, knowing that it was likely not a stroke. But I was mindless, and (strangely and unusually) cooperative.
But then, I had lost my mind. I don't remember agreeing to go to the hospital. If I had remembered my mother's incident, I might have waited it out for a few hours, knowing that it was likely not a stroke. But I was mindless, and (strangely and unusually) cooperative.
Anyway, I had all the tests. My head was radiated. That is what hospitals are required to do, and that is why health care costs are spiraling out of control. There is some relief in knowing that they didn't find anything--apparently my carotid arteries are not clogging up, for instance.
Then, in the last post on the wordswithrose blog, I had made the outrageous claim that I play Words with Friends in order to keep my mind functional, thus preventing the onset of Alzheimer's disease and other issues of the head. So--just after I make that claim, I LOSE MY MIND--even if it was for only a few hours! This is what I'm talking about.
In another post about my hearing loss and wax-plugged ear, I referenced all of the things that can go wrong, just in the head. I had no idea then what was about to happen inside my brain!
These kinds of things seem to be more than just something that happens everyday to anyone. It seems to me to be my own unique experience of what I like to call bad karma.
Earlier this winter as I was adjusting to my "new" car, I hadn't put the battery cables back and I left the lights on while enjoying happy hour with my friends. Just before I left home I had a bit of a tiff with the husband and had stormed out claiming I would never ask him for anything again. An hour later I was calling him to bring the battery cables and bail me out. I had even offered $20 to a guy who parked near me. He said his ex-wife had taken his cables. It was too cold to walk home.
I will include one more example. In the mid-nineties I was working in a small office with a young twenty-something who was always getting sick and running to the doctor for antibiotics.
Even back then, I believed antibiotics were seriously over-prescribed and had publicly expressed my own (superior) philosophy of health and drug use. I bragged that I had never taken an antibiotic in my life. I had never really refused to take an antibiotic, but I didn't go begging to a doctor for a prescription, either.
Well, I was hit with a virus that I caught from my girls which morphed into a serious pneumonia. I became very ill and no one was really taking care of me. I developed a high fever and no one was getting me 7-Up to drink, like my mother used to--a rare treat back in the day. I deteriorated to hospitalization levels. What happened in the hospital? I got mainlined, with a PICC (peripherally inserted central catheter) line in my arm--for streaming multiple antibiotics into me around the clock. I remained sick and feverish for days. If it was a viral pneumonia, all those drugs did no good. But that is another story.
Good and bad things happen. But not always directly following boastful statements or expressions of moral superiority or ridiculous claims. Do they? Is it just me, here? Best not answer that. Just keep your thoughts to yourself. I don't need any more trouble.
Again, I hardly dare to think or speak or write of these things. This is it.
I have no needs. I have no thoughts. I make no claims. I am no better than anyone else. I will live my life without personal commentary. I do not want to go to the hospital again!
Then, in the last post on the wordswithrose blog, I had made the outrageous claim that I play Words with Friends in order to keep my mind functional, thus preventing the onset of Alzheimer's disease and other issues of the head. So--just after I make that claim, I LOSE MY MIND--even if it was for only a few hours! This is what I'm talking about.
In another post about my hearing loss and wax-plugged ear, I referenced all of the things that can go wrong, just in the head. I had no idea then what was about to happen inside my brain!
These kinds of things seem to be more than just something that happens everyday to anyone. It seems to me to be my own unique experience of what I like to call bad karma.
Earlier this winter as I was adjusting to my "new" car, I hadn't put the battery cables back and I left the lights on while enjoying happy hour with my friends. Just before I left home I had a bit of a tiff with the husband and had stormed out claiming I would never ask him for anything again. An hour later I was calling him to bring the battery cables and bail me out. I had even offered $20 to a guy who parked near me. He said his ex-wife had taken his cables. It was too cold to walk home.
I will include one more example. In the mid-nineties I was working in a small office with a young twenty-something who was always getting sick and running to the doctor for antibiotics.
Even back then, I believed antibiotics were seriously over-prescribed and had publicly expressed my own (superior) philosophy of health and drug use. I bragged that I had never taken an antibiotic in my life. I had never really refused to take an antibiotic, but I didn't go begging to a doctor for a prescription, either.
Well, I was hit with a virus that I caught from my girls which morphed into a serious pneumonia. I became very ill and no one was really taking care of me. I developed a high fever and no one was getting me 7-Up to drink, like my mother used to--a rare treat back in the day. I deteriorated to hospitalization levels. What happened in the hospital? I got mainlined, with a PICC (peripherally inserted central catheter) line in my arm--for streaming multiple antibiotics into me around the clock. I remained sick and feverish for days. If it was a viral pneumonia, all those drugs did no good. But that is another story.
Good and bad things happen. But not always directly following boastful statements or expressions of moral superiority or ridiculous claims. Do they? Is it just me, here? Best not answer that. Just keep your thoughts to yourself. I don't need any more trouble.
Again, I hardly dare to think or speak or write of these things. This is it.
I have no needs. I have no thoughts. I make no claims. I am no better than anyone else. I will live my life without personal commentary. I do not want to go to the hospital again!
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