Hear Ye Hear Ye - All's Clear in My Ear!

Sometimes odd little annoying things go wrong with this flawed earthly body we are stuck with for a few short years here on earth.

Just before Christmas my right ear plugged up (maybe improper ear plug use?) and only got worse until I was going a bit crazy. And it was probably not from drinking too much wine, as I previously postulated.

I am imagining that Mr. Caveman of olden days probably just put up and shut up, his ears filling up with wax until he became deaf. He probably sat despondently in his cave, having lost all interest in joining the mastodon hunts but somewhat relieved that he didn't have to listen to the endless prattle of the mistress of the cave (did cave men marry?) Perhaps he devised a rough Q-tip from the flexible wishbone of a raptor and learned to use it effectively.

I stayed home more while I was half-deaf, more comfortable in my own little cocoon where I could control the sound levels. I was offered free tickets to a concert and turned them down ... I couldn't hear well enough to enjoy it.

 I was sure that I could be helped, but probably didn't sound desperate enough on the phone, trying to get an appointment--and I didn't want to pay the extra fees to wait in an "urgent" care facility or see a specialist on my own dime, without the benefit of an approved referral. And it was the holidays and people were sick with the flu and worse things.

So I waited a little longer to access affordable health care than I wanted, my empathy for the hearing-impaired increasing with each passing day. I was also pursuing the home remedies.

Today was ear wash day and my hearing was restored.

I was totally correct in my self-diagnosis and utterly unsuccessful in my various attempts to clear my own ear. Without getting into the weeds with the seedy details of my condition or my attempts at home remedies, let me just say that a nurse pulling the trigger on a bottle of warm pressurized water aimed directly at my eardrum did the trick. My main concern was that my ear drum would be breached by the forceful pulses from the water "pistil".

I suffered from a similar condition once before, about twenty five years ago. At that time I was able to see our little Erica's pediatric ENT doctor. She vac-sucked my ear out in about two seconds. It was great.

I had purchased a new ear wash kit at the drug store. I also made a solution of hydrogen peroxide and water which I syringed into the ear. I bought a $9.99 pen light scope at Walgreens (pictured above) so the husband could take a peek and see how deep and wide the trouble really was. He reported that it looked very bad! But then he said he had no idea what he was looking at!

 In the end, I only paid a modest $15 co-pay at my primary care doctor's office.

Speaking of odd things that go awry in our bodies--a friend of mine told me recently that he once had uvulitis. His uvula (that thingy hanging down in the back of the throat, in case you were wondering) became infected and enlarged--tickling and triggering a cough reflex. When he laid down it hung more to the side and was more tolerable.

I had never heard of this ailment of an odd little body part I mostly ignore. Maybe it had something do with the glass of wine I was sipping, but I thought it was hilarious. The uvula has a funny name and a funny look. No one seems to know what purpose it serves. It made me giggle. I hope I never develop uvulitis because it probably would not be a giggling matter.

Someone else I know quite well developed labyrinthitis of the inner ear, causing temporary hearing loss and vertigo. Sounds awful. That was also a new one to me.

When I was a twenty-something I developed an itchy rash with a distinct Christmas tree pattern across my back--A Christmas Tree Rash. I was comforted to know that it had no known cause and would never re-occur.

And I have suffered from tinnitus (that tormenting buzz on a low e in my left ear) from drinking red wine in excess.

So many things that can go wrong--just in the head! Believe it or not, I do not get headaches, except when I have a fever. And most things resolve or heal over time.

 I very gratefully endured the squirt-bottle treatment today, even though the vac-job would have been preferable. The relief factor was *huge.

The worst thing about today was facing the very large number that appeared before my eyes on the doctor's scale! Ouch! (And I had worn a really heavy sweatshirt.)

 I am extremely grateful that my hearing was normalized today and that the world is incredibly loud once again. I was relieved to know that I can once again hear my alarm clock with one ear buried in my pillow, but I was concerned to hear new rattles and roars from my recently purchased car as I pulled out of the doctor's parking lot.

 I haven't had a glass of red wine since New Year's Eve (just in case), but I have nothing left to complain about other than a little January boredom. It was a good day in My Year of Living.